This morning I quietly waded into the deeper end of my thoughts.
Every spring leading up to Easter, I feel abandoned by my faith. I have a sensation of being orphaned from the Christian family.
There is a sharp turn made from the gentleness of Jesus to the sacrifice of the Lamb of God. I fail to negotiate it.
It seems we suddenly go from believing in a savior of love to believing in a surrogate who came to fulfill ancient prophesy, to be the final blood sacrifice for the iniquity of us all.
I don’t understand the transition. Oh, don’t get me wrong–I’ve studied all the doctrines on the propitiation of sin and all the angles of blood atonement.
I just miss my friend, Jesus.
I want to rewrite the ending.
And I certainly can’t believe he was part of some cosmic design by an offended God who required plasma to confirm repentance. Not even God can plan without manipulating.
So I sit quietly.
This is the story I believe:
God loves us.
He yearns to be our Father.
As our Father, He is prepared to instruct us, but is careful to grant us free will.
Feeling He had abandoned us in the trap of our own indecision, He came to Earth to be one of us–to discover the sensations and assist in the confusion.
He took a risk.
For after all, there is a little bit of heaven in us, but also insecurities that can manifest treachery.
For thirty-three years, he learned, grew, analyzed obedience and was tempted as we are.
He taught us that we are brothers and sisters, not alienated by culture, but instead, united by a common creation.
Yet there were things he said we did not like.
We enjoyed conjuring enemies instead of acquiring neighbors.
We loved to assess blame instead of shouldering responsibility.
And we deeply revered the compartment of religion, keeping it separate from our daily decisions.
So we decided to kill off our elder brother, Jesus, in order to silence the incessant reminder of our greater potential.
Fortunately, God evolved with our free will.
What was meant for evil became good–because we are now united under one blood shed for our ignorance.
It was Jesus’ blood … and the blood of the Son makes us one.